O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
