this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize