I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I can't turn off my feet"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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