i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
