My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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