The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
