Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize