Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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