Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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