so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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