I didn't shave. On purpose
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
