You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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