it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize