Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
