Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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