Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
