I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
