Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize