everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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