I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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