I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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