Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
