i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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