Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
