Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
