i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
