Girls should come with a carfax report
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
