Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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