im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
