He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
jump out the window naked night went bad
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
