My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
