So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
