i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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