Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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