mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
