I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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