I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
