It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
