I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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