ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
