i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize