garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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