I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
