Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Damn victory sex feels great
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
