Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
