she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
