When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
