I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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