Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
