oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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