I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
