Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
