I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
