It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize