I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Welp...herpes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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