what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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