i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
