my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
