i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize