Its about making memories worth repressing
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
