Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
