the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
