I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize