it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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