Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
