so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
